My French Commute

With my key that looks like it hails from the 16th century, I crank once, then again, locking my apartment door. Check the time on my cell phone – ready to walk.

Down 104 stairs, slide the delicate latch on the building door, open, and I am on Boulevard de Grenelle.

In my quick-pace fashion, I start zipping south-east down the boulevard. Maintaining my position on the north side of the street until Rue du Commerce. Here I cross to the south side of Boulevard de Grenelle. This is not because it is time to turn. It is because the south side, at this point, is much more efficient – 8.1% more efficient in fact. Wandering angles, two way streets, and a shop that always has old ladies gathered in front makes the north side a place to avoid.

Whipping down the south side of the street, through Place Cambronne, and then a right onto Rue Cambronne. Walking in a sliding fashion, as though I was skiing, avoiding dog crap. (Parisians love dogs, but neglect their droppings.)

After 23 dog-crap-near-misses my walk is more than half over by now. Ten minutes, 53 seconds have passed. Once the smell of tarts, baguettes, and croissants from the boulangerie hits my nose, I know I have passed Rue Lecourbe (second of only three, two-way streets). Once I see the boucherie I pull out my cell phone to check the time. Assuming I’m on schedule, as I usually am, my gate remains unaltered.

As I curve around the brasserie I tend to run into people. A couple, “Excusez-moi, Madame” and “Pardon Monsieur” is all I need to survive unscathed.

Taking Rue du Général Beuret, a small back street, helps to avoid another clustery brasserie. With a nod to the policemen as I pass the station, I next cross the final two-way street, Rue du Vaugirard. Hang a right for a half a block – slowing my speed just a bit as I pass a small bar eyeing to see which Le Cordon Bleu students are in there.

Left on Rue d’Alleray.

Right on Rue François Villon.

Left on Rue Léon Delhomme.

Voilà! School.

Right-on-time, again!

Twenty-two minutes and eight seconds. One point eight kilometers.

The walk home is exactly the same, but in reverse.

I have noticed when there is a slight film of snow on the sidewalks; the slipping of my shoes causes a 4.5% reduction in commute efficiency – it adds a minute to my walk.

Some of you may think I am crazy – which might be true. But, some of you – and you know who you are – completely understand.