January 31st

One Month. 4 weeks. 31 days. 744 hours.

My first month comes to a close. Already.

Today marks the day to take measure. One month into French eating means a jump on the scale. 31 days of spending Euros requires a budget assessment. And 744 hours - some of them free - calls for a check count on my must-do-in-Paris list.

My assessment is classic Anthony. Lost five pounds. Overspent my budget. Completed all to-dos.

The speed of the first month makes me wonder if I will be able to accomplish everything I have set out for. Enjoyment, glee, and rapture compound as the days hurriedly fall from the calendar. I worry that my adjournment will come too soon.

Month number one’s enchantment doesn’t come without dissonance. While my passion has been flaring my love has been yearning. The separation from my husband has not been easy. The gap that is inevitably created is a painful one to bridge.

Adding to the loneliness that I feel today, it is our one-year wedding anniversary.

One year ago today, we were (legally) bound in the great state of Connecticut. It remains the best day of my life. In the moment of sharing our vows the rest of the world peeled away. All I could see was his steely eyes and his love for me that rest inside. The moment consisted of nothing more than him, me, and our love.

Things manifested that afternoon. Our commitment to each other. Mutual love. Admiration for our teammate. Pride in our wedding certificate. And anticipation of the future. Only good things manifested. Worries, anxieties, stresses, and annoyances all dissolved the moment we said, “I do.” As though god snapped her fingers, it was all good. James and I knew, or maybe it was more of a feeling, that we had found each other.

I won’t recount the tears that I’ve already shed because I am not with him today. But, I will share my love, admiration, awe, pride, respect, and thankfulness that I feel towards him.

Happy Anniversary, albeit from afar.